Networking in the USA for dummies. Personal experience
Last week I was at a workshop / conference on unsupervised machine learning. We all heard a hundred times that such events are needed in order to show ourselves and to look at others. Build a network and all that. I want to share how I left the comfort zone and talked with people. How I studied the art of networking :)
Continued under the cut.
The background is like that. I moved to the States a year and a half ago, I work in a national laboratory. Engaged in unsupervised machine learning.
Last week, the AI and Tensor Factorization workshop was held. It was not quite a workshop, but rather a small conference with approximately 55 participants. It lasted 3.5 days. And I presented my poster there.
We have all heard a hundred times that such events are needed in order to show ourselves and look at others. Build a network and all that. Therefore, before the conference, I was very excited by the thought “Oh gods, I need to communicate with people. And also in his uncertain "flawless" English. " Yes, my English for a year of living in the environment pumped to some level. But. When you spend almost all the time at the computer, and at home you speak Russian and read / watch Russian, too, the adoption of the language is very slow. Yes, yes, I know. It is necessary to reduce the use of the native language and all that. But now this is not about that.
Before the conference, I started surfing the Internet with various articles in the style of “10 tips for introvert how to build networking”, “how to build connections and negotiate”, “how to communicate properly on LinkedIn”. Not without books, “Never Eat Alone,” “Networking for Introverts.” By the way, really, never eat alone.
And here is an example. On the very first day at dinner, I sat at a table with five adults I did not know. And she was just silent. I ate my dish from Mexican cuisine and did not understand at all what I was doing here. The rest were talking to each other. I could hardly make out what they were discussing. My listening skills + the noise around was the reason. I just wanted to run away from hopelessness. But I continued to sit and be silent. I tried to speak with one man. He is one of the leading specialists in a small chemical modeling company. I asked about the company, about the staff. But the conversation did not start. My food was over by that time, and I was fiddling with my glass. Several people left the table. And I thought it was a failure. But then what happened then reduced my fear. One woman spoke to me, with whom we sat next to me. I just asked who I was and what I was doing. I looked at her badge. And then I almost fell off the chair. This wonderful looking woman is one of the key figures in the world of Tensor Factorization. After a humble story about myself, I thanked for her work, for her toolbox in Matlab. Sincerely. At that moment, I experienced exactly the same feeling when you meet a famous person and your idol. And while I asked her about her laboratory, about positions, another man from the third laboratory joined our dialogue. And he said that they are interested in good specialists, etc. And they both suggested that I keep in touch with them. And so, 10 minutes before the end of dinner, I met two important people. So don’t eat alone.
Before the conference, reading everything, I made notes for myself, mini-summaries. I imagined different situations of how I can approach people trying to apply all these tips. And I threw all these papers with notes on the first day. No, they were not useless. But they all forgot to mention one thing: "remain yourself." Of course, I used a couple of tips. First: if you panic, go to the toilet and squat or jump. Helps to shake up. And the second: do not turn the dialogue into a monologue about yourself. This is not necessary. Be interested in people. Once it was with one guy. Having told about my life before the move, about the search for opportunities in America and about much more, I came to my senses that a person just stands and is silent. She stopped, apologized and tried to return the dialogue. After that, I met with this person more than once at a conference, and we had a wonderful conversation. I found out that a couple of snakes live in his house :)
I’ll add one more tip from myself. Smile At least for coffee breaks, lunches and dinners. The world does not have to know that you are afraid or do not like people.
Of course, this was not some huge conference with thousands of people, where everyone is trying to find customers and sell themselves more expensive. Yes, just being yourself is not enough there. And this is the very art that books are written about.
My conference was, let’s say, a friendly 4-day get-together, at which everyone automatically got to know if they wanted to. And it seems to me that such small cozy events are a good preparation for global conferences.
By the way, I began to delve into this networking and prepare not just to communicate with people, but to get contacts of one person. Because he works in a place where I would like to work too. And I set myself up for the fact that besides this person I no longer needed anyone at this conference. But nothing came of it. This man came only to his report and ran right during the session, without waiting for a break. What I did not expect at all. Therefore, advice, do not tune only to certain people. Do not expect or be upset. Chat with everyone. How did it turn out for me. I planned one, but a dozen came out. And I enjoyed it. Now I’m looking for where else to go, chat with people. And yes, don’t worry about your English. I could, and you can :)
Continued under the cut.
The background is like that. I moved to the States a year and a half ago, I work in a national laboratory. Engaged in unsupervised machine learning.
Last week, the AI and Tensor Factorization workshop was held. It was not quite a workshop, but rather a small conference with approximately 55 participants. It lasted 3.5 days. And I presented my poster there.
We have all heard a hundred times that such events are needed in order to show ourselves and look at others. Build a network and all that. Therefore, before the conference, I was very excited by the thought “Oh gods, I need to communicate with people. And also in his uncertain "flawless" English. " Yes, my English for a year of living in the environment pumped to some level. But. When you spend almost all the time at the computer, and at home you speak Russian and read / watch Russian, too, the adoption of the language is very slow. Yes, yes, I know. It is necessary to reduce the use of the native language and all that. But now this is not about that.
Before the conference, I started surfing the Internet with various articles in the style of “10 tips for introvert how to build networking”, “how to build connections and negotiate”, “how to communicate properly on LinkedIn”. Not without books, “Never Eat Alone,” “Networking for Introverts.” By the way, really, never eat alone.
And here is an example. On the very first day at dinner, I sat at a table with five adults I did not know. And she was just silent. I ate my dish from Mexican cuisine and did not understand at all what I was doing here. The rest were talking to each other. I could hardly make out what they were discussing. My listening skills + the noise around was the reason. I just wanted to run away from hopelessness. But I continued to sit and be silent. I tried to speak with one man. He is one of the leading specialists in a small chemical modeling company. I asked about the company, about the staff. But the conversation did not start. My food was over by that time, and I was fiddling with my glass. Several people left the table. And I thought it was a failure. But then what happened then reduced my fear. One woman spoke to me, with whom we sat next to me. I just asked who I was and what I was doing. I looked at her badge. And then I almost fell off the chair. This wonderful looking woman is one of the key figures in the world of Tensor Factorization. After a humble story about myself, I thanked for her work, for her toolbox in Matlab. Sincerely. At that moment, I experienced exactly the same feeling when you meet a famous person and your idol. And while I asked her about her laboratory, about positions, another man from the third laboratory joined our dialogue. And he said that they are interested in good specialists, etc. And they both suggested that I keep in touch with them. And so, 10 minutes before the end of dinner, I met two important people. So don’t eat alone.
Before the conference, reading everything, I made notes for myself, mini-summaries. I imagined different situations of how I can approach people trying to apply all these tips. And I threw all these papers with notes on the first day. No, they were not useless. But they all forgot to mention one thing: "remain yourself." Of course, I used a couple of tips. First: if you panic, go to the toilet and squat or jump. Helps to shake up. And the second: do not turn the dialogue into a monologue about yourself. This is not necessary. Be interested in people. Once it was with one guy. Having told about my life before the move, about the search for opportunities in America and about much more, I came to my senses that a person just stands and is silent. She stopped, apologized and tried to return the dialogue. After that, I met with this person more than once at a conference, and we had a wonderful conversation. I found out that a couple of snakes live in his house :)
I’ll add one more tip from myself. Smile At least for coffee breaks, lunches and dinners. The world does not have to know that you are afraid or do not like people.
Of course, this was not some huge conference with thousands of people, where everyone is trying to find customers and sell themselves more expensive. Yes, just being yourself is not enough there. And this is the very art that books are written about.
My conference was, let’s say, a friendly 4-day get-together, at which everyone automatically got to know if they wanted to. And it seems to me that such small cozy events are a good preparation for global conferences.
By the way, I began to delve into this networking and prepare not just to communicate with people, but to get contacts of one person. Because he works in a place where I would like to work too. And I set myself up for the fact that besides this person I no longer needed anyone at this conference. But nothing came of it. This man came only to his report and ran right during the session, without waiting for a break. What I did not expect at all. Therefore, advice, do not tune only to certain people. Do not expect or be upset. Chat with everyone. How did it turn out for me. I planned one, but a dozen came out. And I enjoyed it. Now I’m looking for where else to go, chat with people. And yes, don’t worry about your English. I could, and you can :)
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