Competition for the best IT happy or an happy ending
How to participate and what to do: choose on which side you are light or dark, come up with your version of the ending of the tale, send the results of your work in the comments, collect the pros and wait for the end of the contest. Eleven of the most prolific endings will receive prizes:
- 1st place - a cool sweatshirt “Wow, and everything works!”;
- 2nd-11th place - thematic special forces.
Comments written before 23:59 Sunday are counted.
The results will be summed up 11.25.2019 at 13:00. Go for it!
Frodo - Lord of the Selling from Dodo
The Guardian team gathered their duffel bags and followed Gandalf down the dark corridor ...
Gandalf - so they called their team lead for a long beard and a strange gray skin tone. They all wanted to be as soon as possible in the open air in Chernorechye, where powerful whales hold microservices on their backs and do not fall, in the sense they do not drown. Well, you get the point.
Gandalf invariably led the column, and to whom else could he entrust this burden, because his team consisted of 4 short jones, a couple of sullen middles with two-handed keyboards at the ready, a witty analyst and some kind of dwarf datacenter (no one understood what he was engaged, because 100% of his time was occupied by smoking a tube and juggling weights in his neurons).
In his left hand, Gandalf held his Rod, dispelling the black darkness of the corridor three steps ahead. Here and there, unused methods hung from the walls and ceiling of the corridor, commented off centuries of code pieces and class constructors with 50 parameters. Gandalf held Yarrist in his right hand - the legendary legacy code refactoring tool that tended to break on trying to rename some goblin, so I also had to carry the blue electrical tape with me.
An indefatigable Gimli wandered beside him thoughtfully and muttered a mantra in the language of the neurodworfs: “RNN, CNN, BBC ...” or just listened to the radio. Frodo (a promising joon) followed him with a naked Tern, trying to chop these legacy classes with their grim methods into a small vinaigrette.
The blades of Tern and Yarrist did not shine, which means the orcs who wrote all this disgrace were not nearby, for the swords made by the elves in the Primary Age of creation of Visual Studio were alarmingly showered with error when the orcs appeared nearby.
Behind Frodo, loyal Sam wandered, Merry and Pin were also Jones, but simpler, without ambition, the mappers wrote so cleanly, and even then on projects where none of the senior comrades bothered to connect AutoMapper.
Legolas and Boromir walked briskly further. Legolas erased something about bugs at the beginning of the corridor, and Boromir waved it off, referring to the fact that soon everything was to be completely rebuilt here, and in general we did not break it. The procession was closed by the silent Aragorn. He thought. I thought that if we immediately began to write this project on DDD, then here would be cleanliness and order now, but not this is all.
Suddenly…
Waiting for your stories!
25+ alternative endings with DotNextWe tested this contest on DotNext, and this is what happened.
"Thread can not be terminated"Suddenly, before the gaze of the travelers appeared the evil that lurked in the depths for centuries. All the legacy that our brave heroes met along the way were only echoes of ancient battles with the ancient Delphic dragon Embarcadero, which clung with its long claws to the very heart of the project.
“Embarcadero,” whispered Gandalf. “I have not heard about him for hundreds of years ... So here you are, firstborn. This is our goal, which is poisoning our world, let’s destroy it! ”
The wars rushed to the attack, but on each of their blows in the air, “Thread can not be terminated” was heard.
“Streams, these damn streams! FreeAndNil !! ”, Gandalf growled gritting his teeth, but in response, only“ ArgumentReferenceException ”.
Suddenly, a roar was heard from a nearby cave.
- What is it? Cried one of the junes, startled.
- Can not be! Shouted Gimli. “These are Delphic novices.”
“Didn’t we exterminate them at the battle of WinForms?” - equipping the bow, said the long-eared.
From the cave appeared embittered creatures, long forgotten, rotted from the inside out by malice to smoothies - Delphic wars. With a scream, they rushed to the attack.
It was an unequal battle, and the refactoring team did not have a single chance to win. Slaughter. Just a carnage.
The naked Tenr sat all this time on the ledge and watched. Without armor and even some clothes, he was useless in battle, so he just sat and looked. When the last developer fell, he quietly said: “No, this g # @ & cannot be redone about us.”
Posted by: Korhog
Pool request and terrible creationSuddenly, because of the turn that led to the next service, an incomprehensible code crawled out with a bunch of strange branchy and terrible limbs. No one could understand what a wanderer created such a terrible creature, according to the commitments it was clear that this was one of the ancient guardians, whom no one had seen for a long time.
Everyone was terrified, but Gimli, seeing the familiar outlines, gained even more heroism and realized that he could do this task. While Legolas and Boromir were studying an incomprehensible creature, Gimli, seized with madness, took his notes on all the monsters he knew and did not know and began to craft the weapons of the ancients from crutches and wheels lying nearby.
Without telling anyone, he fired a pool of requester at this monster from a gun. Legolas and Boromir only had time to see how the request pool flew into a monster, everything lit up with technical phone lights, user screams deafened everyone within a radius of 1000 miles, the pool request rebelled from an incomprehensible creature, broke the support pillar of the entire dungeon and the quarterly awards of the Guardians team scattered with dust.
Author: Ilya Grigoriev
Release fools!Suddenly Legolas turned cautiously and, listening for a moment to the surrounding darkness, quickly caught up with Gandalf and whispered something to him.
- Everything on stage! Fast!
- What is it? Asked the naive Frodo, who also now heard ominous heavy steps.
“Gnomish salespeople cut deadlines too eagerly and too deeply ...”
The team rushed to collect the sawn off features. As luck would have it, one of the gobladmins was wobbling the assembly world, so it was possible to raise the features of the jones only thanks to Aragorn's ingenuity, who managed to sew up the assembly so that it finally collapsed only after running all the tests.
And here is the release on the assembly. It remains to roll out the container from the depths of the caves, and it is on the upper world. But the customer’s representative, whose arrival the analyst warned, was already here ...
- Release! Release fools! Gandalf shouted, blocking the developers. Over his life, he has wrapped up a lot of business requirements and intended to do the same with these edits.
- YOU WILL NOT GO IN RELEASE !!!
Author: Ivan Grishulenko (Modulbank)
It used to be I Gandalf Gray“We have come,” said Gandalf. The guardian team stopped and with open mouths began to look around. Slender openwork columns went high up to the ceiling, where clouds swirled smoothly, as if in a dance, from which a breathtaking and inexplicably beckoning glow emanated. In the light of the clouds one could see gracefully soaring whales. It was evident that they carry bulk containers that reliably hide something valuable in themselves. This can be guessed by the thick chains and huge locks on them.
Gandalf slammed the baton in the center of the room on the sparkling, incredibly secure floor. Brilliant streams ran from the place of impact and spread throughout the space. Each column, each brick of the huge hall, to which the trickles reached, responded with a gentle green glow. “TDD,” Aragorn whispered. “My delight,” Frodo muttered, amazed to the core. “Why are we here, Gandalf,” Sam asked, when he was able to recover a little from the surrounding splendor.
“I am glad that you are here and can see this better world. And now this is my new home ... ”said Gandalf. “Yes, my friends, it used to be Gandalf Gray, but soon I will become Gandalf White and I will have to leave you. You have exactly two weeks to find out from me everything you want to know. I am ready to share with you all my potions and spells so that you can survive on your own. But further we will be forced to say goodbye to you ... ". “We are finished,” the Guardian team flashed synchronously in the heads of the whole ...
Author: Vitaliy I.
About Orcs and Grandfather's HealthSuddenly, the swords let them know that there were a lot of orcs approaching them - error'y began to pour in so much. Gandalf, guided only by his own instincts and experience, coordinated the team for defense and ... it was not fate to cope with the solution of the problem, because his grandfather's state of health did not allow him to hold out for a long time in the fight. Frodo was destined to lead the team of Great Gandalf and save the prod.
Posted by: Tatiana (y_tata)
Orcs from the usual human developersInfrastructure Orcs appeared who, using black magic, began to transfer Moria directly with the team to another Virgo infrastructure. These orcs were made from ordinary human developers in the process of painful onboarding. Therefore, they did not know mercy and pity even to their former friends and colleagues.
Posted by: Anna_Morozova
Gandaddy of the local latitudesIt became clear to everyone where they were going, except for Gandalf (he already knew, the Timlid). This version of an improved world did not appear out of nowhere. After a couple of hundred meters, a door could be seen in the cliff. She creaked openly, and the sonorous voice of the extrovert cried out: “Guys, come in faster, here the features get cold.” It was Gandalf's father - Gandaddy (he was CTO of the local latitudes). While he was on vacation, he completely missed the code and decided to transform the legacy so that neither the developers nor the clients would recognize him.
When the wanderers led by the timlid went inside, they immediately saw pictures on the wall of how the senior Geng juggled SOLID on vacation and walked along the beach in the evenings and drank DRY. They practiced KISS with local girls and much more.
“It was a great vacation,” Gandaddy snapped. “I just combed the architecture, now it looks more attractive than my bald head.” The whole team immediately had a smile, and Gandalf’s eyes got a little wet: “I'm so glad, pa. This is a breath of fresh air, now we can forget about the dirty pluses and the braking snake, now we can finally dictate terms to investors and increase the list of features for customers! ”
The evening ended with a joyful feast with a Ruby new beer and the smell of perspectives.
Gandalf finally said: “We lived in our own difficulties and thought how to solve them, but you just had to give them to outside expertise and wait a bit.”
Posted by: Themaextra (Andersen)
Under the power of everyday blizzardsSuddenly…
Under the power of everyday blizzard
Gandalf's spirit was broken.
And Gimli fell nearby
Whispering only: gone ... I disappeared.
And all this ailment
Was shouldered
Syrian boy.
They howled, screamed
It happened and wrote codes.
After only time
The fruits sprouted
And the junes only grew stronger.
They reached the mountain
In a word - well done djuns.
Posted by Dmitry Pavlin (Kaspersky)
About fast joonsSuddenly the snow begins to fall!
- Yes, these are the logs of our cloud services! Cried Gandalf. With every snowflake, exceptions flew at them, and even a hot smoothie could not stop it. Timlida boiled more than just smoothies.
Before they could make out the incident, the dragons flew in and brought in their clutches a request for new features that had to be done yesterday. And how can you refuse the dragons, for this they may not give gold at the end of the month. Gandalf really needs gold, he wants a new staff and time to change the chariot.
But here the Jones sent their misters at once, in which they repeated all, absolutely everything, parsed errors, and this was the last straw in the fire of Gandalf's soul. Timlid burned out.
Author: Daria Shukshina (Contour)
Release, release, roll on prod!Suddenly someone shouted loudly: “Release, release, let's roll on the prod!” And Anton - the intern-developer woke up. All night they saw the code with his Uber team, reinforced by liters of coffee and kilograms of pizza, and the Lord of the Rings walked in parallel on the Product Owner machine (for morality). And a healthy thought came to the young Padawan: it was better to plan the dates, and it was bad to overeat at night. But what are his years ...
Posted by Ilya Zimin (Smartcat.ai)
“Client”, “play”, “styles”, “feature”Suddenly they heard a terrible rumble behind him and scraps of terrible curses: “client”, “play”, “styles”, “feature”.
“A mountain troll,” cried Gandalf, “throw a smoothie, riding gyro scooters and valim.”
More experienced comrades grabbed an armful of June and ran forward without looking back. “Edits”, “client”, “yyyya” - the troll's screams began to get quieter and quieter. Happy, they thought that everything was behind and were about to continue on their way, when suddenly a terrible monster with huge bruises under his eyes doused them with a terrible stench of coffee and the White Sea Canal.
“To fire,” it growled, “to fire everyone.”
Gandalf, realizing that in his hands the fate of the team, looking at these naive little jones, stepped forward and shouted: "You will not fire!" Then he entered into a fierce battle with the monster. His last words were only the phrase: "Run, fools."
Left without their spiritual leader, the team only sadly thought: “Well ... Edits, so edits,” and reluctantly wandered back to the troll.
Posted by Artyom Chernyshov (iProspect)
This is probably LatinSuddenly, lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.
Posted by: Mihailpw
Spawn of the ancient creators and faithful crutchFrom above, annoying sounds of warnings were heard, but, as usual, no one paid attention to them. The brotherhood did not suspect what danger they were in.
However, soon after the sounds, a terrible beetle-hydra appeared - a product of the ancient creators. Inexperienced dzhuns immediately rushed into battle and, despite Gandalf's desperate attempts to stop them, they tried to immediately chop off a terrible bug. What they did not know was that having cut off one head of the bug, that one would immediately grow two new ones.
It seems that this time their commander will have to step into the matter. Giving strict commands to his loyal middles, Gandalf joined the battle. He had never entered such a fierce battle. The fight lasted so long that all the participants lost track of time. Endlessly rolling, rolling out and rolling away, Gandalf managed to lure the monster into a cave snorkel.
Having rushed back to the exit, the team leader pulled out his faithful crutch and struck that he had the strength. Thus, he cut off the path to freedom for the monster. The team was able to retreat, and the monster remained in eternal darkness to wait for the next unfortunate travelers ...
Author: Evgeny Russkikh (IRZ JSC)
Light core 3.1.The road went slowly. The fresh breeze of well-documented code accurately guided the team forward. Now everyone was sure that refactoring would not take much time and only a little remained.
The underground servers were buzzing quietly - a clear sign of a close surface. Small bugs reappeared - it was the careless joons that scared them from the walls covered with centuries-old moss.
Tima’s mood increased, even a harsh and incredulous middle quietly sang a song about unit tests and TDD.
Suddenly, the heroes entered a large area with high arches and a code of ancient orcs that adorned the walls and ceiling. It can be seen that the architect of the ancient Orcs worked hard.
At the farthest point in the room, immediately after the collapsed tests, Gandalf noticed an ancient door, which was supposed to lead, as he had calculated from the very beginning, to core 3, and maybe even to 3.1., If the customers were favorable.
With a barely noticeable movement of the staff, he created a request that illuminated the path to the portal, and the team leisurely moved to the exit.
Once nearby, Gandalf began to inspect the door with curiosity: it seemed that the ancient symbols were linked into words, but the meaning was impossible to catch.
Suddenly, one of their hobjuns exclaimed in surprise: - Gandalf, look, there is unnecessary use, I will remove it, and we can get out!
Timlid did not even have time to protest, a speech about reflection almost fell off his lips, but it was too late - suddenly the quick-tempered June did what he had intended ...
The walls of the ancient temple, and after all, most likely it was a temple, shuddered. The abandoned assembly mechanism grated and suddenly (even for the middle ones who were tense and prepared for refactoring) the door opened, the core 3.1 light fell on the heroes.
The defense mechanism of the ancient orcs was too ... ancient. He stopped working long ago.
Posted by: f786q
June who failedSuddenly Frodo pereklinilo. The anger inside him grew for a long time, he wanted to cut all this legacy, this architecture did not give him rest. Where are the patterns? Where is DDD? He broke and imperceptibly for Gandalf began to cut the business logic and refactor, refactor and refactor again. His experience was not enough, but he did not understand it. Only when he finished and started, did Frodo realize that something irreparable happened.
The whales began to fall one after another, exceptions flew from all directions, the log book became harder every second. Gandalf pushed the june away. His eyes were enlarged, his pulse went off scale. Frodo sat in the master branch. Gandalf was furious, but that could not change anything. Prod lay. And this meant another weekend spent at work.
Posted by: Mikhail Lazarev ( neprogger )
Results 18/7Suddenly, a dragon attacked them in the dungeon (Gandalf's urgent business trip), and he had to leave his team.
The team continued to move on, none of them knew what to do next and where to turn. They had only one desire - not to drop the food.
On their way there were edits from the customer elves, and they successfully coped with them, despite the fact that they had to work 18/7. Orc bugs that tried to drop the prod due to inefficient search on large lists. But they did not break the spirit of the Jones.
On the contrary, the Jones were proud that they were able to fix bugs and optimize the code. And even from time to time Gandalf boasted of their achievements in the slack.
Gandalf's business trip ended. He was afraid that during his business trip the jones would break everything, but nothing bad happened. This made him happy and inspired hope that someday they would be able to refactor all the legacy code and not break anything. But this is a completely different story. In the meantime, our heroes continued their journey to Chernorech.
Posted by: madmax46
Ancient legend and ReflectionTypeLoadExceptionSuddenly, alarming news came from Gimli: a ReflectionTypeLoadException error occurred in one of the gigantic projects. The depths of the stektrace were taken inside AutoMapper. An ancient legend said that only Yoda was able to cope with this.
Gandalf faced the task of whom to send to a distant conference to Yoda. As a wise team leader, he immediately delegated the task of choosing Frodo.
Ride yourself and pause the deadline or send other jones? The task was difficult. Frodo offered to go to Sam, Merry or Pina, but there was only one place.
A dispute began between the Joons. They began to cut out tests and refused to write new ones. The situation was getting worse.
As a result, Gandalf fired all the Jones and drove on his own. From Yoda’s report, he realized that the problem was the crazy structure of the project’s dependencies, which was formed due to the fact that no one reviewed the June.
The moral of this fable is: Timlid, organize a review of the Jones and do not give cause for dispute.
Posted by Evgeny Peshkov, epeshk (JetBrains)
Gandalf at the DotNext FairSuddenly, a snow-white castle appeared in front. At the entrance, the guards solemnly said: “You are taking over the kingdom of dotnext. Chain mail and mantles leave at the entrance. "
Going inside, they admired the abundance of knowledge dealers and local citizens who needed help. Gandalf, born in the sacred land of Israel-Iliom, immediately realized that there was something to profit from.
Having sent his minions to collect magic sticker packs wallowing in an unlimited number around the shops, he himself went to carry out the most difficult tasks of local residents.
At first, he easily defeated the terrible dragon Raiffeisn, leaving behind other heroes, for which he received a waterproof mantle from a grateful resident.
Then he showed his skill in the game under the title of “Sharostol”, having come to various shops, he felt that his mana was growing.
On the second day, he helped almost all the inhabitants, having spent a fair amount of his strength, having received various awards, quilted jackets, finger-hands, magic potions and many other unusual nishtyaks.
Two of the most difficult tasks remained: to spear a flying disk for southern residents from Mozilia and write a tale of their adventures. Then, having rested and regained his strength, you can go further on through the swamps inhabited by jabs, pythons and other evil spirits ...
Posted by Alexander, AuthorProxy (Topcase)
And did not promise to returnSuddenly he saw Gandalf a huge black dragon, flying swiftly flying right at him. Gandalf, being a glorious brave man, did not flinch at all, because in his life he had seen not only cute bugs in the code.
The dragon landed right a step away from our hero. In his paws, he brought a brilliant scroll and humbly handed it to Gandalf. The brave team leader began to study what was written with interest.
It turned out that strangers from a neighboring state learned about the great glory of Gandalf and decided that it would be great to entice him to their side. In their message, they promised him interesting quests and a carefree life.
Gandalf thought for a long time over such a proposal and decided to go on the development of new lands. The team gave him his blessing, because all the participants were grateful to their Hero for the experience that they received under his strict guidance.
Posted by: Alexander Baulin
In one line... Deadline and they were all fired.
Posted by Leonid Olevsky (Kaspersky)
Deadline, the board is covered, but no one sat down for the code ...
Posted by Pavel Kondratiev (CROC)
... and a meteorite arrived with aliens who blew everything up and took the team with them.
Posted by Victoria Malashenko (Kaspersky)
Suddenly Frodo woke up at a lecture on biology. It was a dream.
Posted by: Stanislav Panov (HCFB)
Suddenly a meteorite fell and everyone died.
Author: Sergey Rubanov, chico on Habré, chico xyzzy on Twitter (BeerJS)
Suddenly Fedor Sumkin woke up in a cold sweat and burst into tears. Him to work in the morning, at sharepoint shit ...
Posted by Ilshat Garifullin (ePayments Technologies)
Suddenly a familiar melody was heard, the sound grew louder. A successful response came to the request for completion of sleep, and I woke up.
Author: Elena Reshetova (Tinkoff)
A pizza appeared in front of them, they ate it, comprehended Zen and rewrote the entire code in one night, and in the morning they left for a month on vacation in the Canaries.
Posted by: Annushka iz Kontur