Many in the comments shared their inner feelings and wondered who they should turn to. I studied the topic in detail and wrote for you a small reference material about finding a psychotherapist. Hope this will be helpful.
How to understand that you need help?
According to one of the world's largest medical centers - the American Mayo Clinic , psychotherapy can help treat the “majority” of mental illness, in particular:
- anxiety disorders - obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), various phobias, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- depression and bipolar disorder
- addictions - addiction, alcoholism, cravings for gambling
- eating disorders - anorexia and bulimia
- personality disorders - borderline personality disorder or dependent personality disorder.
However, psychotherapy can be useful not only for people who suspect a mental illness or who have already been diagnosed with it. Specialists can help:
- resolve conflict with your partner
- relieve stress due to work or other situations
- cope with serious life changes, such as divorce, death of a loved one or job loss
- learn to manage your behavior and cope with unhealthy reactions - rage on the road or passive-aggressive behavior
- reconcile with a serious physical health problem - diabetes, cancer, chronic pain
- deal with the effects of physical, sexual abuse
- overcome insomnia.
“Almost everyone can benefit from therapy. It’s like exercise, but instead of muscle, creation. Does a person need to play sports? In principle, there is no such need for training, such as, say, water or oxygen, but regular physical activity can improve well-being and life in general. The same can be said about psychotherapy. However, usually people turn to a specialist when they have disturbing thoughts, irrational behavior or are in an unhealthy relationship, ”Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist from California, shared with Habr’s readers.
How to choose a therapist?
Not everyone is ready to turn to friends and acquaintances for recommendations - it is clear that not everyone is ready to share psychological problems even with the closest ones. Psychologist selection services can help here (for example, Alter and Clear ).
Talk on the phone with several psychotherapists or sign up for a test appointment. Moreover, in some cases, psychotherapists offer the first session for free or at a discount.
“A trip to 3-5 specialists will allow you to understand the principles of their work and how comfortable you feel in the patient’s chair. At the first meeting, tell the therapist about your problem and ask how he will help solve it. And then choose the specialist who gave you the feeling that you can trust him, ”advises Ryan Howes.
Many, he said, choose a psychotherapist of a similar age, the same gender and outlook on life. Indeed, if you are child-free, and your therapist says “give birth and everything will pass,” then you are clearly not on the way.
Study the specialist’s educational background : which university he graduated from, what certificates he has of further education, what kind of profile he has, what therapy he practices. It will not be superfluous to look through his Facebook profile.
If a person graduated from university 20 years ago and stopped on this in his development, then he will probably be treating you with outdated methods (for example, according to Freud). Ideally, he should rely on Western standards, regularly read the latest research in English. The most studied method of psychotherapy is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). It has proven effectiveness in the fight against addiction and in the treatment of anxiety disorders. You can read a review of meta-analyzes on Pubmed, in the same article - why CBT is currently the "gold standard" of psychotherapy.
It is also worth asking the specialist if he is undergoing supervision . Roughly speaking, as a review code, only by psychotherapists. That is, one therapist turns to another therapist with some kind of case and receives a kind of consultation, insight. If a specialist practices supervision, this is a very good sign. It is important to understand that a supervisor is not a psychotherapist for a psychotherapist, but rather a coach.
Alarms that the therapist does not suit you
“If the therapist does not listen to you, is not interested in you, or he cannot offer you a clear treatment plan , you should look for another specialist. It is you who should be the center of attention during the reception, and not the personal life of the therapist, ”said the chief red flag Ryan Howes.You need to think about changing the therapist if the effect of your trips to the specialist is completely absent . Yes, you should not expect instant healing, but some minimal relief, a sense of the appearance of control over life should appear only a couple of weeks after the start of treatment.
It is bad if a specialist accepts patients at home, in a cafe or, God forgive me, in coworking. An apartment is still a personal space, and in public places it is impossible to maintain anonymity. In addition, therapy at dinner can turn into friendship, and this is an absolute taboo . Probably, it is not worth mentioning further that sexual relations between the therapist and the patient are unacceptable.
Alternatives
Psychotherapy is expensive: in Moscow for an appointment from 2000 rubles to infinity. But there are cheaper options:
It is worth warning that such treatment methods are not suitable for the treatment of depression and other serious mental illnesses! It is also important to understand that among the applications on the FDA smartphone, only a few are approved (for example, this ), and then as an addition to full-time therapy.
Finally
I will share a couple of exercises from the arsenal of psychotherapists that everyone can practice to increase awareness and concentration.
Exercise 5-4-3-2-1. It can be performed while walking, at home, at work - in general, anywhere. First you need to select 5 items that you can currently see. A leaf that fell from a tree, a pen on a table, a lantern, a trace of an airplane in the sky, a scratch on the skin. Focus your attention on each of them. Then similarly select 4 sounds that you can hear. The rustle of leaves, car alarm, Yuri Dud asks questions to the next guest on Youtube, the kettle is boiling. Concentrate on noise. Further - the same, but with 3 items that can be touched. Then - 2 items, whose smell can be felt. And finally - 1 item that you can taste.
Exercise "paper sheet". This is a way of meditation. Imagine each of your thoughts written on a paper sheet, which you put down to float on the river. We thought “tomorrow you need to come to work early, because ...” - mentally wrote it down on a piece of paper and sent it downstream. And so for 5-10 minutes, as much as you can.
PS The insane cat at the beginning of the article is the work of a 19th-century English artist Louis William Wain, who suffered from schizophrenia.