Emotional intelligence

Denis : Hi. Nice to see you! How do you?

Oksana : Normal.

D : I recently watched the show and liked one storyline X. Would you recommend another such exciting line?

A : Googles. There are a lot of them.



Such a dialogue will seem trivial and unjustified to you, but there are thousands of such dialogues to take as an example from life and this does not indicate a person’s inclination to you. Perhaps there are some problems or he is offended at you, but with almost 100% certainty we can say that if you have a good relationship with a person, then his emotional intelligence is poorly developed. Such people are often difficult to understand.



Emotional Intelligence (EI) - the ability of a person to recognize the emotions, intentions, desires of others and their own, as well as the ability to control their own and others' emotions. In other words, the better developed EI, the more accurately a person will be able to interpret the situation and will be less prone to stress.



In most cases, if you even understand that this behavior is standard for this person, you will get offended at him at best, and at worst you will gradually become indifferent to him. In the future, perhaps you will stop communicating and for you this situation will be clear, but another person will look for reasons and rummage in himself. Perhaps this is good for both sides, but such people with a low level of development of emotional intelligence need to accept and understand their actions, as this will make your life easier at times and will help in your future career and relationships.



To meet a person with well-developed emotional intelligence is already a great find. It is very difficult to simultaneously perceive, use and understand emotions, as well as manage them. Usually a person has well developed 1-3 components of emotional intelligence.



A person with a well-developed emotional intelligence always remembers that there should not be any gaps between his intentions and the real impact of the words spoken to them. For example, you can say a phrase in a rude manner, and another person will take it into his account and will think that you are not loyal to him. Although in reality you sympathize with him and did not want to say anything offensive.



There are several models of emotional intelligence, but consider the simplest to understand - a mixed model. It consists of 5 characteristics explaining EI.

• Self-knowledge - the study of himself, his mental and physical characteristics
• Self - control is the ability to manage your emotions to achieve your goals.
• Social skills - the ability to successfully interact with other people
• Empathy - the ability to determine the feelings of others
• Motivation - incentives that motivate people to action

Signs of a person with low emotional intelligence

• Tendency to resentment and lack of ability to forgive.
• Lack of sympathy and compassion
• Inability to understand the emotions and feelings of both their own and others
• Think others are sensitive.
• Self-centered
• Constant debate
• They have little control over their emotions.
• Inability to learn from your mistakes
• Lack of listening and hearing

How to develop emotional intelligence?



Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be developed at any time during its life. Therefore, if you feel some discomfort when communicating with friends, family and relatives, do not be afraid, you can easily overcome it, you just need to want and make little effort in the development of emotional intelligence.

• Realize yourself. Write down what you feel. Analyze why you have such a feeling and how you behave in various situations (in a state of rest, pleasure, joy, anger, etc.).
• Every time when there are negative emotions, try to find a way that emotions will nullify or smooth them. For example, listening to classical music, walking in nature, etc.
• In the event of a dispute or meeting of different views, try to put yourself in the opponent's position and understand what he feels. Be interested in the opinions of people. It helps to develop empathy.
• When communicating, you must be as calm and open as possible and try not to push.
• Find a person with whom you can share the most intimate. It helps to discharge and relieve emotional stress.
• It is impossible to control emotions, but you can control the reaction to them. On negative emotions, try to respond more restrained. Do not let negative take up. Look at the cause of the emotion from a different angle, maybe you have a different model of perception of behavior. Try to put yourself in the place of the stimulus, realize the reasons for its actions, maybe you will immediately understand it.

Thanks for attention!